15 Ways to Make Kids Stop Fighting Over Toys

Childhood is punctuated with vibrant memories of play, laughter, and sometimes, the inevitable disputes over toys. Whether it’s the allure of a sibling’s toy seeming more appealing or the instinctive need to assert ownership, these skirmishes are more than mere child’s play. They serve as miniature life stages, reflecting children’s understanding of possession, sharing, and social dynamics.

In these formative years, interactions over toys can provide insights into a child’s evolving sense of self, fairness, and interpersonal relationships. For caregivers and parents, it’s not just about navigating the cacophony of “It’s mine!” and tearful pleas. Instead, these moments become golden opportunities to impart lifelong lessons on empathy, patience, and conflict resolution.

However, mitigating these toy tussles requires more than a mere referee whistle. Strategies grounded in understanding, communication, and consistency can transform these everyday squabbles into valuable learning experiences. The following guidelines offer a roadmap to ensure that the playgrounds and playrooms remain arenas of joy and growth, rather than battlegrounds of contention.

1. Set Clear Turn-Taking Rules

Every game has rules, and playtime is no exception. Establishing a clear set of guidelines about taking turns can create a structured environment for kids. By understanding that everyone gets a designated time with a toy, children can learn patience and anticipation. Introducing a timer, for instance, not only ensures fairness but also adds a fun, game-like element to sharing. It offers kids a tangible measure of time, teaching them to value and respect each other’s opportunities.

2. Stock Multiples of Favorite Toys

In an ideal world, every toy would be available in twos or threes, making sharing disputes obsolete. By having duplicates of popular toys, parents can significantly decrease points of contention. Multiple toys mean kids don’t have to wait long to play with their favourite items. This also teaches them that sometimes it’s easier to find alternatives than to dispute, a lesson that’s valuable in many of life’s scenarios.

3. Encourage Verbal Communication

The art of communication is one of the most crucial skills we impart to our young ones. Teaching them to express their feelings and wants with words can often prevent many conflicts from escalating. By verbalizing their needs, kids learn to negotiate and understand the power of dialogue. It’s not just about preventing physical altercations; it’s about equipping them with tools to express themselves throughout their lives.

4. Implement a Toy Rotation

The novelty has a unique charm. By rotating toys, parents can constantly introduce “new” toys to the play mix, ensuring that children always have something different to engage with. This strategy not only maintains the freshness of toys but also subtly introduces kids to the idea of change and adaptability. As they anticipate the reintroduction of stored toys, children develop patience and the ability to find joy in both the familiar and the new.

5. Designate a Neutral “Time-Out” for Toys

Sometimes, the best solution to a heated dispute is a brief pause. By placing a contentious toy in a neutral spot, children learn that unresolved conflicts can lead to mutual loss. This approach underscores the value of compromise and mutual respect. Moreover, the time-out period allows for emotions to settle, paving the way for more rational discussions and resolutions.

6. Model and Praise Positive Behavior

Children are astute observers, often mimicking the behaviours they witness. By modelling positive sharing behaviours, caregivers can set a tangible standard for kids. Complimenting children when they share or take turns without being told not only boosts their self-esteem but also reinforces the desired behaviour. It’s a two-pronged strategy: showing them the way and then celebrating them when they follow it.

7. Distract and Redirect

There’s a subtle art to distraction. If a particular toy consistently becomes a source of conflict, shifting a child’s attention to another engaging activity or toy can be a swift solution. Distraction works because children’s interests are varied and vast. By introducing something equally captivating, caregivers can momentarily divert attention, allowing previous disputes to fade. It’s a testament to the idea that there’s always another path to joy.

8. Foster Group Play

There’s strength and learning in numbers. Organizing activities that require collective effort can be a boon for teaching collaboration. Group settings, be it board games or craft sessions, organically instil turn-taking and cooperation. As kids navigate these scenarios, they learn to value the group’s collective success over individual wins, a lesson that extends well beyond the playroom.

9. Use a Neutral Mediator

Every conflict, whether in the playground or the boardroom, can benefit from an unbiased perspective. Bringing in a neutral mediator, like an older sibling or another trusted individual, offers a fresh viewpoint, free from the immediate emotions of the disputing parties. This mediation teaches children that it’s okay to seek help and that third-party interventions can lead to fairer outcomes.

10. Cultivate Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is fundamental to harmonious coexistence. By prompting children to consider their playmate’s feelings, parents can sow the seeds of empathy early on. Simple questions that make them reflect on their actions can be profoundly impactful. Over time, this understanding of emotions fosters deeper connections and more considerate behaviours.

11. Avoid Toy “Ownership” Labels

The concept of ownership is deeply ingrained in human nature. However, by promoting a shared toy environment, caregivers can challenge and reshape this notion. When toys belong to the “household” rather than an individual, it reduces possessiveness. This shift in perspective can lead to a more communal spirit, teaching children that sharing spaces and resources can be both fulfilling and harmonious.

12. Stay Calm and Fair During Interventions

Conflicts can escalate quickly, especially when emotions run high. As role models, it’s essential for adults to approach disputes with patience and fairness. A calm demeanour not only deescalates the situation but also demonstrates to children the importance of addressing conflicts rationally. By listening to both sides and guiding them towards a resolution, caregivers teach problem-solving skills that last a lifetime.

13. Empower Problem-Solving

Children are inherently creative, often finding solutions that adults might overlook. Encouraging them to address their disputes and come up with solutions not only empowers them but also fosters critical thinking. It’s about shifting the paradigm from “What can adults do?” to “What can we do?” This promotes self-reliance and confidence in their ability to navigate challenges.

14. Review and Reflect

Reflection is a powerful tool for growth. Setting aside time to discuss past conflicts and their resolutions allows children to understand the root causes of disputes. By reviewing these moments, they can identify patterns, learn from mistakes, and strategize for more harmonious interactions in the future. This ongoing dialogue also reassures them that their feelings and concerns are valued and heard.

15. Stay Consistent with Rules and Consequences

Consistency provides a sense of security. When rules and their consequent outcomes are predictable, children understand the boundaries within which they operate. This clarity reduces disputes because everyone knows what’s expected. Moreover, consistent consequences for breaking rules reinforce the importance of adhering to established guidelines, fostering a sense of responsibility and accountability.


The journey of childhood is interspersed with lessons, both subtle and profound, often emerging from seemingly mundane moments like disputes over toys. By addressing these conflicts with understanding and strategic interventions, we not only ensure harmonious playtimes but also lay the foundation for essential life skills. As caregivers, our role transcends mere supervision; we become the architects of a nurturing environment where every tussle is an opportunity to instil values of empathy, cooperation, and respect. Thus, the playroom becomes more than just a space for fun—it transforms into a classroom for character-building and personal growth.

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